I don't remember my sleeping mat being so thin.... Or maybe I don't remember my back being so fragile. Either way, the ground was hard and unforgiving. Luckily the bourbon we guzzled the night before acted as an additional sleeping mat, in a manner of speaking.
VIDEO: A SHORT RECAP FROM OUR TIME CAMPING
Louie and I arose from our drunken slumbers at around 9:30 AM. There's nothing like waking up with a hangover to the sound of a babbling brook. Or maybe that was the sound of my stomach churning? Either way, in typical millennial fashion I reached for my smartphone to scan social media for the first 40 minutes of my day. "NOT SO FAST!" said the mountains as it sucked up every last drop of cell service available. My phone was useless. Well it's still a fine camera and jukebox, but my connections to the rest of the world appeared temporarily severed. Alas, the joy of camping! What be the point of escaping into the woods other than disconnecting from the grid in order to reconnect with mother nature!
Emerging from my tent the way Ace Ventura climbed out of the rhinos butt in "When Nature Calls", I squinted as I came into the light of the morning sun in search for the nearest water bottle. My hangover began to subside as I sucked down the entire bottle of filtered river water.
Our breakfast consisted of applesauce and granola bars, where the granola bars served as spoons. It wasn't bad except for the fact that the granola bars were nearly frozen after a night in the cold. Regardless, our tummies were full of nutrients and we were ready for a day in the wilderness.
Louie's fat head managed to obliterate the brand new REI camping pillow he had. He broke out his needle and thread in an attempt to revive the tiny cushion. I wasn't so sure how a stitch job would create an air tight seal, but who was I to judge. It didn't work out...
louie sewing his pillow
Continental breakfast
After our breakfast we skated down to this nearby stable to pick up some firewood. $6 got us a bundle. Now that we had provisions ready for the evening we had the rest of the day to trek around in the woods.
We began with a short hike around the Smokemont campground. It wasn't long before Louie found a branch worthy of a hunting spear. He broke out the knife and went to work on his new hunting tool. Well shortly after honing his weapon we stumbled upon two wild turkeys! I told Louie to freeze while I attempted to quickly change lenses for a picture, but unfortunately I wasn't fast enough and they took off. At that point Louie decided to pursue the birds. Turns out there were about 8 of them just chilling in the woods. The last time I saw that much wild turkey I was in the liquor store... zinnggggg! Louie made an attempt to hunt them but failed. Who knew turkeys could take off into the air so quickly?
After that short hike we decided it was lunch time. What fine cuisine was on the menu you ask? Chef Louie whipped us up some of his finest baked beans and bacon, which he masterfully prepared by balancing the can on his machete and holding it over the firepit. Louie heated up some peas as well, and then topped it all off by constructing some neolithic looking wood oven to bake some potatoes. Somebody get this guy on Chopped!
Louie inhaled his meal before I could even start. Once again, we were still spoonless so we had to use the tin can lids as food shovels. Well in just a few mouthfuls I managed to cut the edge of my mouth on the tin lid. Ughhh. What a bad feeling that was. I could't continue eating that way, so I had to just bury my face in my bean bowl like an animal. I had no shame, I was famished.
After lunch we went out to the river to filter some water. The river was so pleasant. Quiet and cool, we sat by it's edge as we took our time filtering the water into a 2 gallon jug. Once we were done there we went for another ride on our skateboards to build up more of an appetite for dinner. It didn't take long before we were ready to start cooking again.
Louie and I foolishly finished the remainder of our alcohol the night before, so we knew we'd have to make our evening meal extra filling to help us fall asleep later. The nights dinner special was to be another round of chili but with mac n cheese mixed in. To make the mac and cheese we would need to boil water in the bean cans we had left over from lunch. It went swimmingly.
When it came time to eat, my PTSD kicked in, I wouldn't dare eat with those jagged tin lids again. I had to think of another way to eat my macaroni chili. My hands? No, much too hot. Granola bars? No those flavors would clash terribly. AH! Chopsticks! I was to whittle me some chopsticks to eat with. It was easy! And not a single splinter, thank the lord.
Check out that craftsmanship! My ancestry results did say i was at least 1% Asian...
We stuffed ourselves with chili and mac n cheese and we were happy.
This day was fun filled and wonderful, but I still had my car trouble on the brain. I couldn't seem to shake the feeling that my vehicle was doomed. Why would this happen? I made sure to check off everything on my to-do list before leaving home.
I pondered countless possible reasons. Primarily, I considered the idea that perhaps this was the result of some karmic boomerang, swinging back around after a life of trouble making. But why now? I couldn't quit wracking my brain for a probable cause!
A figurative representation of my car on this trip. Also a picture of a snail.
Just before we called it a night, it clicked. Louie and I were poorly prepared to tackle the backcountry. Had we made it on time to the trail head and found somewhere to camp in the backcountry, we would've realized that we didn't have a way to cook our food, and we would've been caught in a terrible rainstorm with all of my camera gear. I'm not all that spiritual, but I do think there is something looking after us on this trip. We had a load of fun where we ended up, and we were able to manage ourselves with the resources we had at the campground. With that realization, I was able to sleep easy that night.
Louie and I hitting the hay.
I think the universe knows I exist.